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Burger Pie - Because being too serious is bad for you...

Burger Pie

Did somebody mention Burger and Bean Pie? Natalie Chambers???? Nah - More like Bacon and Cheese burger Pie. Now you’re talking…

Just for fun…..

Ingredients:-

1kg Insanity, crushed into nutter sized globules
300g Beef mince (Discount isle green stuff at £1.38 in our case!)
250g Mature Cheddar, grated . (Make sure to grate a good lump of thumb as well)
Bacon
1 Terrapin
1 Satsuma
Chilli flakes
Garlic Salt
1 Grandmothers earring
A small brass bell
and a partridge in a pear tree
Gluten free puff Pastry

Method:-

(1) Place the Terrapin on the Satsuma, ring the small brass bell 7 times and sit with your eyes closed cross legged for 45 years.
(2) You’ve got really old and the mince went off a little over 44 years ago.
(3) Have a wash and shave.
(4) Start again – but without the Terrapin, Satsuma and blasted bell.
(5) Fry the bacon with the  Terrapin and set aside to drain.
(6) Mix the mince, Garlic Salt and Chilli flakes in a large bowl.
(7) Form into a large round burger sort of thing.
(8) Cut in half and stuff half of your grated cheese in the middle.
(9) Have a break, get drunk and fall asleep.
(10) Fry the burger on both sides.
(71) Have a pint of White Lightening.
(11) Boil the  Satsuma.
(12) Allow the burger to cool.
(13) Throw the  Satsuma away, is dead and they are really not good boiled.
(14) Get serious, I mean, really?
(15) Roll the pastry out.
(16) Place the Burger in the middle.
(17) Porn Grandmothers earring.
(18) Place the fried Bacon over the top.
(19) Cover with the remaining cheese.
(20) Wrap the pastry over everything, oil and sprinkle with wuzzed up Unicorn ( We found toasted Pumpkins seeds are a good alternative)
(21) Place in a preheated oven at 180c for 45 minutes.

We served ours with Chilli wedges, coleslaw and a bit of salad. No Satsumas, Unicorns or Terrapins were actually harmed in the creation of this dish…..
 

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Beef bourguignon recipe, eat well on universal credit

There is a reason for these Wine based recipes. We bought it for a bit of a family gathering, but, well you know - Gout! Not through excess but through untreated broken toe pegs…..

Ingredients:-

500g of Braising Steak, cubed
2 Bay Leaves
2 Sprigs of Thyme
¾ a Bottle of Red Wine
2 Carrots, cut into large chunks
1 Onion, chopped
1 Tbsp of Cornflour
1 Tbsp of Tomato Puree
1 Tbsp of Margarine
150g of Bacon Lardons (Home cured !)
8 Shallots, peeled
200g of Button Mushrooms
Oil to fry
Chopped fresh Parsley
Salt & Pepper to season

Method:-

(1) Heat Oil in a frying pan and brown the Braising steak on all sides.
(2) Transfer to a plate.
(3) In an ovenproof casserole ad Oil, the Onions, Carrots and fry until softened.
(4) Stir in the Cornflour and then add the Tomato Puree.
(5) Add the Braising Steak, Wine, Bay Leaves, Thyme and season with Salt & Pepper.
(6) Give it a good stir and cover.
(7) Simmer on a low heat for 1 ½ hours, stirring occasionally.
(8) Add the Margarine to a frying pan and add the Bacon and Shallots.
(9) Fry until the Bacon is crisp and the Shallots are softened.
(10) Add the Mushrooms and fry for a further 2 minutes.
(11) Add everything to the Casserole, stir in and allow to simmer for 10 minutes.
(12) Remove the Bay Leaves.
(13) Serve garnished with the Parsley.

We served ours with New Potatoes and Broccoli and it was gooood….

 

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